"Nic would like to believe that those 600 Wii calories she just blasted have gone from somewhere noticeable, but the reality is that it's probably disappeared from behind her right earlobe, or her left knee.
My, what a skinny and attractive behind-of-earlobe you have, madam, said no-one ever."
I notice it though. I notice it when I try on something that used to fit me at my fattest, and it is loose. I notice it in the way I can walk with someone and actually join in the conversation with more than just the occasional gasp and grunt. I notice it, but it's not really hey-look noticeable yet. But it will be. I will make a difference both externally as well as internally. Because inside I KNOW there's already a difference. How can there not be? It's rather wonderful to realise that you're making a difference in your own life.
But there's a lot to go, a lot to shift, and it'll be a long, long time before there's a major physical change, but that's okay. That is, actually, the plan. Because this is for life, not just a fad few months. The more I read, the more it appears that if you lose weight slowly, over a long period of time, you have more of a chance keeping it off in the long run. There's a higher possibility that your skin will shrink with you (although I do know that as a person who has been obese since her teens, I'll most certainly be left with a goodly amount, but possibly less than if I was to lose the weight in months, instead of years). There's less stress on the heart and other organs. More of a chance of keeping the weight off. I say this twice, because I think that'll be the hardest part. Keeping it off once I get to a point when I'm no longer taking years off my life, but instead adding to it. Once I get to a point where I'm at a weight that suits my body type, without worrying about BMI - something I'm inclined to believe only works for group averages, and not individuals. Will I know when that is? At this point in my journey I can only guess, but I suspect it'll centre around the amount of loose skin I can deal with, as I won't be able to afford to remove it surgically. I've read more that one story of weight gain after massive weight loss because the person is unable to cope with the side-effects, which include excess skin, and I want to prepare myself for that possible future.
Don't get me wrong - I almost salivate over programmes on the telly that turn dangerously unfit, morbidly obese beings into demi-gods almost overnight. The voyeuristic, vicarious viewing (sorry - that alliteration was entirely an accident) gives hope in a strange and lazy way to those of us who may not be quite as fat as those on the programme, who say, well, if they can lose all that, then surely I can lose some of this? It's empowering, hypnotic, but like all 'miraculous cures' a thing of smoke and mirrors. Yes, exercise more, and eat less for sure, but it's mentally useful for us to understand that they're taking part in regimes that are unhealthy (if you believe even half the stuff written about the methods used to ensure a good televisual result) and totally untenable in the long run.
So slow and steady wins the race, at least (I hope) for me, six hundred calories at a time.
