Back in June I rather unceremoniously announced my intention to switch to a gluten-free diet by internet-crying over the ingredients of my favourite chocolate bar. Why? Because the combination of nougat and chocolate and... oh, why go gluten-free. :: coughs :: It's simple. A myriad blood tests came back normal, indicating that my blood sugar was normal, my cholesterol was normal, I wasn't coeliac, and my internal organs were doing a good job in keeping good enzymes in and bad enzymes out!
I know, I know, that sounds like I'm actually in pretty good shape! And it's almost certainly because I chose to change my life a few years ago! Huzzah!
Warning: TMI ahead.
But we couldn't find the reason(s) behind my weird, itchy, scaly skin patches, my chronic sinusitis, migraines and vertigo (that I had linked both to perpetually blocked and sometimes super-angry sinuses and an already long, LONG history of migraine starting when I was seven), long-term digestive issues ranging from feeling bloated and burpy, to the utter agony of having to spend hours on, or in close vicinity to, the porcelain throne (sometimes even starting just a few minutes after eating something that obviously didn't agree with me), plus mood swings and other brain-type ups and downs.
But we couldn't find the reason(s) behind my weird, itchy, scaly skin patches, my chronic sinusitis, migraines and vertigo (that I had linked both to perpetually blocked and sometimes super-angry sinuses and an already long, LONG history of migraine starting when I was seven), long-term digestive issues ranging from feeling bloated and burpy, to the utter agony of having to spend hours on, or in close vicinity to, the porcelain throne (sometimes even starting just a few minutes after eating something that obviously didn't agree with me), plus mood swings and other brain-type ups and downs.
I had previously googled the symptoms. Rookie mistake. I potentially had anything and everything from a stubbed toe to something that would kill me in three months. (The stubbed toe was perhaps contributing to potential 'balance issues'. Doctor Google is sent to try us.) But if we want to look a little more intelligently, then my list of symptoms could still cover a long list of intolerances and allergies, not least gluten, but also a whole host of other causes. But I couldn't discount that an intolerance to gluten *could* be responsible for many of my disparate symptoms.
I kept a food diary earlier on in the year, a suggestion made by my sister. It's a great idea, but I am one for examining things to a ridiculous level and when my heart started beating faster after a particularly delicious door-stop sandwich I didn't immediately think AHA! Gluten, I immediately thought, wait - has it always done this after eating, but I'm only noticing it now because I'm on symptom watch? After a birthday week of more cake and bread than usual when the itchy, scaly skin on one hand suddenly developed on the other hand and drove me mad I didn't immediately think AHA! Gluten, I wondered if I had been holding onto something weird that had irritated my hands.
After an interesting session with the doc going though my exemplary blood work results, we decided that in lieu of a truckload of tests that still might be inconclusive, I'd do an old-fashioned elimination diet. Cut out all forms of wheat and gluten for a couple of months and see if I notice a difference in any of the truckload of symptoms I brought to him. A simple method to determine the cause (or at least try to determine the cause) of a complicated ailment.
A couple of friends have told me on different occasions that they think having a food intolerance is just being weak and faddy. That this fad can be made worse by stress and anxiety, which in itself are symptoms of the weakness. A self-fulfilling prophecy. It's not real, so the sufferer should just stop complaining and stop being such a baby. They're just the blindly following the latest craze, which in itself is merely another cog in the diet-industry machine, because don't they realise that they're told they have these intolerances and allergies to make them go out and buy expensive stuff to alleviate made-up symptoms* when really there's nothing wrong with you that chewing on a couple of decent loaves of pure wheat bread spread with a big ol' portion of suck-it-up wouldn't fix.
Well, apart from saying that I believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion on anything and everything, as long as they're not a twat about it, believe me, I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't think it was going to benefit me is some way, because if nothing else it's draining my grocery finances dry. I have a small weekly food budget, and comestibles of a GF nature have a large appetite when it comes to eating cash. So it's not a fad. I can't afford fads.
Well, it's been two months, or just under, since I started cutting out all things gluten-related from my eating, but before I give you a then-and-now comparison, just let me say that cutting out the gluten was technically easy. I stopped buying stuff with gluten in it, natch! But oh my goodness, I felt pretty rotten for the first week or so of actually not ingesting the stuff. I had no energy. The lethargy was too hard to fight for a good few days and I spent the time in listless pursuits of little nothings. I didn't manage much exercise at all because everything seemed to ache - my joints, my muscles, my head. Oh ye gods, my head.
A couple of years ago I realised that I was overdosing on a caffeine by hundreds of per cent, so made the decision to stop coffee cold turkey and was not in any way prepared for the ensuing OH GOD KILL ME NOW constant thumping two-week long brain-ache that came as part of the withdrawal. (Coffee wooed me back, but we're just friends who see each other occasionally, instead of room-mates who live in each other's pockets.) This stopping-gluten headache was enough like that stopping-caffeine headache for me to realise that my body was fighting me tooth and nail and didn't want to give up its floury drug.
It did feel a bit like having the 'flu, but without the lack of appetite. Because man, I was hungry ALL THE TIME. I have no idea what's normal or what's not when detoxing gluten from your system, but the hunger with strangely accompanying nausea, the headache, the lethargy and aching everything was not fun. The worst of it was over after about four days, but the aches and headache lasted ten days or so.
You read of people more unfortunate that me who cut out gluten because they're coeliac and they say that when the body realises it doesn't have to fight itself any more, the relief from pain is almost like night and day. I may not have had such an epiphany, but once that final headache had shifted I certainly liked life a bit better, but didn't notice anything new and shiny in the guts department. However, after a couple of months of not really thinking about it (and even typing that - how marvellous not to have had to think about it so much!) I have come to notice things! Good things!
1a) I used to belch. I mean all the time, not just your discreet little burp behind your hand, but an honest-to-god Barney-from-The-Simpsons, oesophagus-rattling belch. I have unfortunate friends and relatives who will attest to this - you won't even have to pay them. Barely an hour would go by without the chance to recite the alphabet in gas form.
1b) It's a rare phenomenon now. I hadn't noticed that until just now, actually. I still burp, because, hey, I'm human, but that continual need to get rid of an awful lot of built-up gas pressure? It's not there!
2a) It was rare for a week to pass without having to spend a considerably uncomfortable amount of time parking in the porcelain garage, because something would turn your guts from its normal grumble to PANIC!! EVACUATION!! mode. Or if you were going out somewhere for a meal, you knew that you'd have to block the next day off (if you'll excuse the unintentional pun) as a home-stay day because the chances would be high that something you had eaten would set you off for a long stay in the pottery prison.
2b) The last upset stomach that had me doubled-up was I think around three weeks ago, and I think I can pin that on using oats that weren't GF. (My own fault for not checking first.) In fact, things are, um, well... Shall we say on an even keel just now, and try not to tempt the Fates by talking about it too much!
3a) I had a couple of patches of dry, flaky, cracking, very rough and very itchy skin that looked like they belonged on a not-so-recently deceased plucked chicken. They've come and gone over the years, but the last couple have seen me scratching those patches more often than not, and when they weren't flaring-up, the skin was like leather.
3b) And again, I've just noticed that I haven't been scratching for a good while. This little essay has come in quite handy! In fact, now I'm actually paying attention, the skin is as soft as the rest and although there's still a little patch where there was some scarring (that rash was itchy, man), but well! This is good news!
A couple of years ago I realised that I was overdosing on a caffeine by hundreds of per cent, so made the decision to stop coffee cold turkey and was not in any way prepared for the ensuing OH GOD KILL ME NOW constant thumping two-week long brain-ache that came as part of the withdrawal. (Coffee wooed me back, but we're just friends who see each other occasionally, instead of room-mates who live in each other's pockets.) This stopping-gluten headache was enough like that stopping-caffeine headache for me to realise that my body was fighting me tooth and nail and didn't want to give up its floury drug.
It did feel a bit like having the 'flu, but without the lack of appetite. Because man, I was hungry ALL THE TIME. I have no idea what's normal or what's not when detoxing gluten from your system, but the hunger with strangely accompanying nausea, the headache, the lethargy and aching everything was not fun. The worst of it was over after about four days, but the aches and headache lasted ten days or so.
You read of people more unfortunate that me who cut out gluten because they're coeliac and they say that when the body realises it doesn't have to fight itself any more, the relief from pain is almost like night and day. I may not have had such an epiphany, but once that final headache had shifted I certainly liked life a bit better, but didn't notice anything new and shiny in the guts department. However, after a couple of months of not really thinking about it (and even typing that - how marvellous not to have had to think about it so much!) I have come to notice things! Good things!
1a) I used to belch. I mean all the time, not just your discreet little burp behind your hand, but an honest-to-god Barney-from-The-Simpsons, oesophagus-rattling belch. I have unfortunate friends and relatives who will attest to this - you won't even have to pay them. Barely an hour would go by without the chance to recite the alphabet in gas form.
1b) It's a rare phenomenon now. I hadn't noticed that until just now, actually. I still burp, because, hey, I'm human, but that continual need to get rid of an awful lot of built-up gas pressure? It's not there!
2a) It was rare for a week to pass without having to spend a considerably uncomfortable amount of time parking in the porcelain garage, because something would turn your guts from its normal grumble to PANIC!! EVACUATION!! mode. Or if you were going out somewhere for a meal, you knew that you'd have to block the next day off (if you'll excuse the unintentional pun) as a home-stay day because the chances would be high that something you had eaten would set you off for a long stay in the pottery prison.
2b) The last upset stomach that had me doubled-up was I think around three weeks ago, and I think I can pin that on using oats that weren't GF. (My own fault for not checking first.) In fact, things are, um, well... Shall we say on an even keel just now, and try not to tempt the Fates by talking about it too much!
3a) I had a couple of patches of dry, flaky, cracking, very rough and very itchy skin that looked like they belonged on a not-so-recently deceased plucked chicken. They've come and gone over the years, but the last couple have seen me scratching those patches more often than not, and when they weren't flaring-up, the skin was like leather.
3b) And again, I've just noticed that I haven't been scratching for a good while. This little essay has come in quite handy! In fact, now I'm actually paying attention, the skin is as soft as the rest and although there's still a little patch where there was some scarring (that rash was itchy, man), but well! This is good news!
4) The jury is still out on the headaches, mainly because I had a teeny cold followed by an annoyingly interminable sinus infection recently, and although it is about a month since my last face-throbbing, gouge-out-my-eye headache, I'd prefer to wait and see whether that's because of changes in the weather, my sinuses currently flowing freely down the back of my throat instead of being their normal solid mass of pain, or because gluten is a bitch and hates me.
But as for those non-cleared-up sinuses? Well, I had tried going dairy free a year or so ago, because dairy is the first thing we singers blame for gunk on the cords and nose and throat. Probably because it's the number one cause of that gunk. So I cut out milk and my darling cheese, but nothing changed. I know for sure I never used the attention to detail when I was attempting dairy-free that I use now to check my foodstuffs are gluten-free, so when I noticed no difference in my sinus congestion I blamed it on being intolerant to something else, not realising that even the tiniest milk protein could be responsible for a whole lot of snot. Now that my tummy woes are at least pretending to be in check (excuse me while I touch wood for a second...) I'm going to schedule a couple of months without dairy, properly without dairy, and see if I can't go catch myself another break! Watch this space!
*looking at the price of almond flour I'm tempted to believe it.
But as for those non-cleared-up sinuses? Well, I had tried going dairy free a year or so ago, because dairy is the first thing we singers blame for gunk on the cords and nose and throat. Probably because it's the number one cause of that gunk. So I cut out milk and my darling cheese, but nothing changed. I know for sure I never used the attention to detail when I was attempting dairy-free that I use now to check my foodstuffs are gluten-free, so when I noticed no difference in my sinus congestion I blamed it on being intolerant to something else, not realising that even the tiniest milk protein could be responsible for a whole lot of snot. Now that my tummy woes are at least pretending to be in check (excuse me while I touch wood for a second...) I'm going to schedule a couple of months without dairy, properly without dairy, and see if I can't go catch myself another break! Watch this space!
*looking at the price of almond flour I'm tempted to believe it.
