Scones, Scones Glorious Scones

Nothing Quite like 'em for cladding your bones! 

(Yeah okay - I don't pronounce scone ‘scoan' but  it's difficult to find an appropriate word that rhymes with ‘sconn'!)

Ohai! Yes, I know, it has been a long time, hasn't it? An even longer time since I donned my Fake Food Blogger of Questionable Talent's™ hat. But today is a special day! It is the eightieth birthday of Father-Mine, and he does like my scones, rather, so I thought I'd make him a fresh batch of his favourite flavour combination!

Because yes, there have been variants. 

• White choc chips & frozen blueberries.
• Dark choc chips & glacé cherries.
• White choc chips & frozen raspberries.
• Milk choc chips & um, more milk choc chips...

And what is my Dad's favourite? Find out below...! 

This is a scone based loosely on the Dried Cherry Pistachio Scones recipe you can find on Call Me PMc. Loosely...

You need:

and

240g (or 2 cups) all-purpose (gluten-free) flour.
200g (or 1 cup) frozen raspberries.
175g (or 1 cup) white choc chips.
125g (or ½ cup) greek yoghurt.
115g (or 8 tbsp) butter.
65g (or ⅓ cup) granulated sugar.
1 tsp baking powder.
½ tsp salt.
¼ tsp baking soda.
1 egg.

I've included the original US measurements, because, no matter how much it pains me to say so, the universal cup size is quite handy if you're chopping and changing some of your key flavouring ingredients.

Firstly heat that old oven up to 200 degrees centigrade (or 400 degrees Fahrenheit, should your oven be of that persuasion). Yes, this is indeed an indication that it doesn't take too much time to get everything ready for the putting-in-oven stage. You now know me well enough to suspect that had it been otherwise, I would have been quick to step up on that well-worn Pre-Heating Soapbox of Disdain.

Then it's dry-ingredient mixing time, so in a large bowl you need to add the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt, and give them a wee mix around.

Now I have to point out that every time I've made these, I've had to add about another 100g or so more flour to move away from a rather sloppy consistency. YMMV, but I'd recommend being prepared by having at least another 50g of flour waiting on the sidelines, just in case...

To this you add in the butter and mix until you have ‘pea-size crumbles'. There are many time-saving ways to try this, from freezing the butter and grating it in, to the ultra-smart pastry cutter method, but I just go for the tried-and-tested fingertip method. It is here, and only here, that I appreciate my always-cold hands!

Set that aside, then in a smaller bowl mix the egg and yoghurt together. If you get the feeling that these two ingredients looks a thousand-times wrong when combined, please be assured that you are not the only one.

Once you're over your feelings of borderline disgust, add the... mixture... to the dry ingredients, give it a wee mix,

then add the white choc chips, and the frozen raspberries*, and gently stir together.
*Or whichever ingredients you've decided on today.

I chose to use frozen rasps purely because I wanted them in smaller bits, and I could whack them about with a rolling pin to separate them into tiny drupelets. Not possible when fresh. Nope.

Then the shaping fun begins! Turn the mixture out onto a floury surface (I just used the baking sheet with already floured baking paper) give it a quick knead to make sure everything is incorporated, then gently spread out into a ten-inch diameter circle.

Or, yannow, as close as you can be bothered...

... and then cut into eight wedges, and spread them a little around the baking sheet to give them a little room to grow when they bake. It's recommended that you use a floured knife, but I went one better (or worse, haven't decided yet) and used a floured pizza cutter. You know - the wheel type! I'm pretty sure it's laziness that it the mother of invention, not necessity...

Anyhoo, whang these babies in the oven for a recommended twenty, to twenty-three minutes, until ‘lightly browned'. Or, like me, realise twenty minutes is not enough, and forget to reset the timer to find that twenty-six(ish) minutes is just a tad on the long side...

Mind you, slather enough butter on them while they're still hot, and nothing really matters any more except for the tangy tartness of raspberries and white chocolate!

And Now For Something Completely Different

:: cue Monty Python theme music ::

ni julep by yours truly

Having, um, ‘invested' in rather a lot of self-striping yarn recently, I decided it was time for another pair of socks. Or three. I'm still rather a stickler when it comes to knitting other peoples' patterns. Or perhaps I'm overly fussy? I'm not quite sure what it is, but I'm always thinking if I'm going to knit something, why not design it myself? 

Ah, you know what it really is? I must be living up to my Scottish heritage by never handing over any hard-earned cash for something I could do myself for free! Heh!

ni julep by yours truly size medium
knit picks felici sock in ‘mint chip'

schachenmayr regia 4-fädig 4-ply solids in ‘borke'

The blurb:

“We want... a shrubbery!!" 

Technically this pattern is a mix of my Traffic Island socks, and my Twist of Citrus socks; a little bit of feather and fan, and a little bit of chevron knitting, and was originally meant for self-striping yarn. I was going to call it something mint julep-y as the eyelet pattern looks rather Lamiaceae-y, but on working a non-stripey version I got to thinking that it looked like a shrubbery was working up the leg!! Shrubberies, in fact, with a little pathway running down the middle of them! 

And a socktail was born! Or poured and knocked over, maybe!*

Ni Julep is an easy toe-up, Fish Lips Kiss Heel sock that works with all yarn colouring from self-striping to solid!

ni julep by yours truly size large
ice yarns mohair magic glitz in ‘green shades brown shades'

From mid-calf to short socks, too!

ni julep by yours truly size small
yarning yenta sock in ‘red fraggle'

holiday yarns flock sock sock in ‘bloody mary mix'

The sock starts at the toe, with my favourite cast-on, the Turkish Cast-On for Toe-Up Socks. You can, of course choose your own favourite cast-on should my favourite not be your favourite! 

yes, yes, there's a gap in the cast-on. 
it is now a design element!

For my small and medium versions (the Red Fraggle, and Mint Chip colourways) I chose to have a contrasting toe, heel, and in the former, cuff as well, as I like how they look with blocks of colour breaking up the stripes. My large version (Green Shades Brown Shades... hmmm, Ice Yarns may need some help in creating enticing colourways names...) is knit straight from toe to cuff using the slow(ish) colour changing yarn. Of course, you can have contrasting heels and toes for plain socks, too. Because you can!

The pattern itself is nice and easy - a 9-row repeat that is very easy to memorise.

I used the marvellous Fish Lips Kiss pattern for the heel. I shall extol the utter delights of this heel until I reach well past my extolation date. No, it's not a free pattern. (Why should you pay a dollar for a heel pattern? Because it is seriously up there with the best fitting heels EVER!) No, I am not affiliated with the pattern or said pattern's designer. No, I'm not telling you you can only use this heel. There are many, MANY heels of which you can choose your own favourite to use in this sock pattern. I would, however, suggest most keenly (reminder to self: do not binge-read Jane Austen when working on writing blog texts) that, if you do prefer using a different heel, to choose one that keeps to the general form. So, peasant/afterthought, or a nice short-row heel will do just the trick.

The leg, as you would expect, continues upwards with the shrubbery pattern and once you get to the start of the cuff (roughly 2 inches before the total length you prefer) you have 2 options: the first is to continue with the cuff pattern as written (as in the medium version), or switch to a simple twisted rib (where you knit one stitch through the back loop to, yup, you've guessed it, twist it, then purl one stitch) to the length of cuff you prefer. If you're working the shrubbery cuff, I'd recommend doing 2 repeats. For the twisted rib, I'd work it for 2 inches.

And to finish up, I'm a great fan of Jeny's Surprisingly Stretchy Bind Off, a lovely video tutorial of which I'll post below. It's simple, stylish, and does what it says on the tin!

So, there it is! Ni Julep socks! And how much am I going to be asking you for this little gem? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!! NOTHING AT ALL! ‘TIS FREE!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

Okay, okay. I'm calm. Of course, Ravelry (to where you will be whisked if you click the button below) don't have a FREE, WHEEEEE button, so you'll have to put up with the BUY NOW clicky effort. However, as I think you may have guessed by now, there will be no actual buying involved!

Or, of course, you can click THIS LINK which will take you straight to the pattern page on Ravelry, so you can have a jolly good gander before you inevitably add the pattern to your queues!! 

MWAHAHAH!

* If you don't know (AND WHY NOT????) The Knights Who Say Ni are fictional characters from the film ‘Monty Python and the Holy Grail'. For King Arthur to pass by the Knights Who Say Ni (“ni") he is instructed to find them a shrubbery. A nice one, and not too expensive. They return with a shrubbery (the laurels of which are particularly appreciated) but instead of being let past, Arthur and his knights must find... ANOTHER SHRUBBERY, to place by the one they brought already, only slightly higher to get a two-layer effect with a little path running down the middle...

Sometimes The Ace, Sometimes The Deuces

So, yes, I have put on a little weight since coming back here. It was inevitable. Not having room to exercise, and not really being able to take as many walks as before, it has all made a dent. As has access to Food. With a capital ‘F'. My gods, but the UK is full of food. Good and bad food. But so much of it! (Or it feels as if there is, to my mind at least!!)

But my excuses, well, not that any are actually forthcoming on this particular post apart from the pseudo ones above, are not needed. 

The annoying thing is that I'm heading precariously back in the direction of the mindset of O MY GODS BUT I AM HUGE AND HORRIBLE AND NO-ONE WILL APPRECIATE ME AND OH OH OH I'M A USELESS HUMAN BEING and it is a silly mindset. Silly.

Therefore this post is to affirm how fabulous I am. At least in a couple of things! 

See this? This was in 2005. Portugal, a few days before I broke my foot. Hilarious person, seemingly full of life, always making folk crack up with laughter, trying to ‘make up' for the fact that I am large.

This was in 2015. Still enjoying making people laugh, but not using it so much as a diverting tactic. It seems that clown part of me is a good part, after all!

This was in 2009. I made that dress. I was very proud of it. I have it still, and one day I'll learn the skills to take it in from, I guess, a size 30 down to a size 18/20.

This was in 2015. In the ‘Twenty-Seven, uh wait, Five Dresses' post, I did succeed once in making an excellent alteration to one dress! The dress in the picture below, in fact!!

This was in 2010. My Little Brain Weasel™ (like My Little Pony but less cute toy, and more evil destroyer of self-confidence) is telling me “Let's not open our mouth too wide, or that quadruple chin will be caught on video for ever".

This was in 2016. I believe the term is called ‘Ah, Feck It, Let's Just Gie It Laldie!'

This was in 2011. My Little Brain Weasel™ says “Hide! Hide those chins! HIDE, I SAY!"

This was in 2017. Ach, still chins, but still dimples, too, so deal with it, My Little Brain Weasel™!

I do admit to myself now that I was at least a little fabulous before, too. I just wasn't in the right place, mind-wise, to appreciate it. I do wish I had known I wasn't truly horrendous when I was younger, but hind-sight is 20/20, as they say. But being fabulous and fit(ish) is better all round for me now, and just because I'm in a little slump losing-weight-wise at the moment, it doesn't mean to say that I'll end up back where I started. I've learned too much about myself for that to happen.

(One thing I've learned is that I appear to be made up of cookies and nature walks... But in the end, Gloria Gaynor said it best: I am what I am, and what I am needs no excuses!!)

Her Grace, Mary, Queen of Scots

...bids you come and have a gander at these...

mary, queen of socks, by yours truly

The blurb:

Mary, Queen of Socks is a companion pattern to Gloriana (my socks inspired by Elizabeth I) and is another design in the series inspired by costume and clothing through the ages. The main beaded motif is an adaptation of embroidered embellishments seen on the gown of a 12- or 13-year-old Mary in a sketch by Clouet c.1555, and the cabled eyelet pattern running parallel to the main motif is a nod towards the famous six ropes of black pearls given to Mary for the occasion of her first marriage (pearls that were coveted, then owned by Elizabeth I). 

This is a toe-up, beaded, lace, and cable sock, with a Fish Lips Kiss Heel, and comes in four sizes from small to XL.

black version: the knitting goddess UK 4-ply sock 75/25 in ‘onyx'
and holiday yarns flocksock sock in ‘bloody mary mix'
white version: ice yarns freddo aplpaca lux in ‘silver white'

The main pattern is worked in one colour, and for this version I chose a cream and silver yarn as a nod towards the opulent gown in the Clouet portrait, but my second version used an onyx yarn to represent the colour Mary was known to wear continuously after the death of the first husband. The chains or red that I chose at the side are a not to the (possibly apocryphal) tale that before her beheading, Mary disrobed her customary black to reveal a crimson under-gown - the colour of Catholic martyrdom.

The centrepiece of the sock design is adapted from the gold embroidery found on the 12- or 13-year-old Mary's dress in a portrait by Couet c.1555,

and is flanked by two rows of stylised pearls representing the famous six strings of black pearls given to Mary on her wedding day to Francois, dauphin of France, by Catherine de Medici. These are described as “six cordons of large pearls, strung as paternosters [...] These are for the most part like black muscades (grapes)." You can see one of these strings in a portrait after Clouet (below), and if you want to see all six worn together, check out Elizabeth I in the Armada portrait!

The cables represent something a little more sinister - bindings for captivity, and in my onyx version, showing the colour of the under-dress Mary is reported to have worn under the black satin dress she wore for her execution - crimson red, the colour of blood and Catholic martyrdom.

The sock starts at the toe (with a nice easy cast-on like the Turkish cast-on that I used) where the square motif and pearls are introduced early on:

Knowing my horrifying way with yarn-overs at the best of time, you will no doubt be very impressed with this little effort! I always try to end up working towards my own strengths, or trying to cover up my weaknesses in my own patterns, and I think not shying away from my ancient yo adversary in this instance has... helped. Well, you can see the pattern I was aiming for, at least. I call this a WIN in my book. Or at least a draw!

You have the option to add a bead at the mid-point of the cross in the square part of the main motif, but if you prefer to keep the eyelet pattern complete throughout, or only add beads to the leg of the sock, there's an option for that in the pattern.

I chose the wonderful Fish Lips Kiss heel again, as it just seems to work. Like I said in my Shirley Temple Socks post, I've never made such a well-fitting sock! You do have to pay $1 for the heel pattern, but I will continue to laud it to the heavens and say that I think it'll be the best sock-related $1 you'll ever spend!

The leg section gives a bit of lee-way regarding where you start the pattern at the back. The directions for the heel (which I can't really divulge here, per the instructions of the heel pattern's designer) is to continue after the construction with another inch or stockinette stitch before carrying on with the pattern up the back of the leg. 

Well. You can see above that in the white version (above) I started the ‘pearl' pattern at the first crossover immediately after the heel (on the same row as the front) but didn't start the main motif pattern until I hit the first round of the internal beaded square. In fact, I did the start of this motif in exactly the same way I started the toe, just with the correct amount of stitches either side! But how and where you start is completely up to you, as long as you're working the same round as the front!

The onyx version continued the pearl motif at the same point as the white version (at the first crossover of the ‘pearl' pattern) but waited an inch to start the main motif, which I began at round 1 when I reached it at the front.

I chose to start the colour-work section at the first bind stitch after the heel, and using 2 balls of the contrasting colour, one for each side, I slowly worked the chain cable. The key is to keep the yarn taut, but not too taut. I have one tester who decided to work the entire bind section from the toe to the cuff in a contrasting colour, with a couple of changes to stitch placement on the sole (details on the link to the project HERE), and the effect is also pretty special.

And that's pretty much it. The cuff is more of a recipe than an actual set of instructions; basically you continue the knit stitches as twisted knit stitches, the purls and yo's as purls, and the bind cable as the rest of the sock, but without the cables. Simple!

For the white version I stopped after row 10 and continued:

p1, (ktbl, p2) x2, B3 (or k3 depending on which round you're on), p2, B3/k3, p2, ktbl, p2, ktbl, p1, ktbl x2, (p1, ktbl) x3, p1, ktbl x2. 
and for the onyx version I stopped on round 24 and continued: 
p1, (ktbl, p2) x2, (k3/B3, p2) x2, ktbl, p2, ktbl, (p1, ktbl) x4.
for about an inch and half or so, binding off with a nice stretchy stitch - I used Jeny's Suprisingly Stretchy Bind Off, but feel free to use your favourite! Of course, you are free to stop the leg for the cuff any place you want, but if you want to keep the wider bind stitches apart, then I'd suggest stopping either between rounds 8 to 12, or rounds 20 to 24. You'll see what I mean if you buy the pattern!

And talking of buying... (see how nicely I slipped that in there??) you can, you can!! and all you need to do is click THIS LINK which will take you to the pattern page on Ravelry (of which you don't need to be a member if you want to buy any patterns there) or you can click the link below which will take you straight to the PayPal page, where you will be asked to part with a paltry €3 (or £2.62. or $3.34 at current exchange rates, plus VAT should you live in the EU) to have the royal pattern in your grasp!

Go on, you know you want to!

With thanks to my Intrepid Ravelry Testers™ ChocolateKate, confiance, crochestist, KnittingNightElf, knotginaj, Mimmyknits, MooseJean, Naehall, Purple TX, renater59, sharpei4kris, SitNKnit, Skalman277, and TigerSharkknits.