My Love Is Like A Red, Red... Cupcake

"Due to the unforeseen Great Albert Heijn Malteser Shortage of '14, we are, sadly, forced to postpone celebrating our 72 poundiversary loss with the designated Malteser Tray Bake. But we must thank the galant and vibrant Red Velvet Cupcake for stepping in at the last moment. (Red was due to celebrate the 59 poundiversary, but was inexplicably forgotten in the run-up to Christmas.)

Further poundiversaries are now designated as: 79 - Malteser Tray Bake (presuming the Shortage doesn't continue); 88 - something decadent from M&S (to be decided); 95 - tray of maple-pecan brownies; 103 - possibly an entire carrot cake. With frosting."

Yes, our noble heroine Bettie Crocker steps into the breach again, with her box mix cupcakes. The whole concept of bright red cake is such an alien thing to this Scot who was brought up with either brown chocolate cake or cream-coloured sponge that of course it had to be on the poundiversary list. Dear America, you are useful for so many strange things that we would never have thought of doing ourselves. Huzzah for your over-the-top, weird and wonderful baking practises.  

And frosting. Thank you for frosting. Icing is lovely, don't get me wrong, and the fairy cakes of my youth slathered in runny white (or blue or pink or yellow, should the village shop stock such exotic food colouring) icing, and hundreds and thousands, are fond, fond memories, but frosting? They say everything is bigger in the US and they don't appear to be wrong, at least when taking cake garnishing into consideration.

I wonder what it was that nudged some baker or other towards making a blood-red coloured chocolate cake, though?  I wondered enough, in fact, to ask Professor Google, and it appears it could be blood-red because some bloke in 40's America wanted to sell his red food colouring! Well, whatever the truth, the rise of the importance of the red velvet cake was enough for good old Bettie Crocker to package it up in ready-to-bake form, and for that me and my minus seventy-two pounds thank her.

Lovely Bubbly!

Champagne - the most decadent of alcoholic beverages, and usually so expensive to prohibit it's consumption except in the most celebratory of circumstances. 

So until you can get your neck around a glass (or indeed a bowl) of the good stuff, help yourself to some free bubbly socks instead!

champagne tower socks by yours truly

Champagne!  And what's more decadent than a glass of champagne, but many glasses of champagne, of course!

My Champagne Tower Socks are made from the top down, with a short-row heel, and were inspired by watching a 'how do they do that' TV programme that included the proper (or at least a successful) method of pouring champagne down a pyramid of champagne bowls!  I love the idea of champagne and froth carrying on down the sock in luxurious stripes - a gentle froth topping some over-the-top twisted rib - the epitome of luxurious ribbing in my eyes!

I did two versions, one a straight champagne and froth, the second a slightly more frivolous kir royale (crème de cassis, or blackcurrant liqueur and champagne),

kir royale tower socks
araucania ranco solid in 'PT485'
kartopu kristal in 'white'

but the options are not few - there are a good many cocktails that include champagne that could inspire you to any number of colour combinations!

I think my ultimate favourite champagne cocktail is the Black Velvet - champagne and Guinness.  Delicious!

And how often do you get offered free champagne?  They're just one click away...  Either HERE, which goes straight to the Ravelry pattern page, or...

(It says buy now, but the button just takes you to the paypal download page, but you pay nothing!)

Harmony Of The Ellipses

"Nic is grateful to the gods/builders/tectonic plates that conspired to make the only area in her place with truly flat floorboards be right in front of her telly.

Because that's the only spot her elliptical cross trainer works properly!

Mwah hah hah hah haaaah!"

I am also grateful that my behemoth of an exercise machine has little wheels built in to the bottom of the front stability bar to enable me to tip it forward and roll it from where it's stored in my bedroom through to that hallowed spot in the living room, or the age-old, cheap and crappy carpets that cover the less-than-flat floor would be in an even worse state of repair. 

Poor flat. The owners really don't care that much about how it looks, as long as what's there lasts a long time, so let's try to ignore the blue brillo-padesque plastic/wire monstrosity that carpets, for want of a better description, the stairs and hall; you don't want to catch your calves going downstairs (or knees, falling upstairs :: cough ::) on that travesty of a floor fabric, because the resulting welts and grazes sting like a mofo.

But I digress.

Yes indeed, that sweet spot where all four corners of my trainer rest just so. Where balance is premium, and no corner has to bear even the tiniest lurch every time the wheel is turned. For you see, a lurch brings with it a tiny hint of a grinding noise. A suspicion of mechanical disapproval. A suggestion that should any horizontal inadequacy continue, Terrible Things Might Happen. 

So, not just to the left, where the floorboard squeaks pitifully when sensing any sort of imbalance. Not just to the right, where there's an inexplicable bump in the flooring. (I've never found enough courage to actually find out what it is; I just avoid it and hope it isn't/wasn't anything that might ooze in the future...) Not set up running parallel to the sofa and sideways to the teevee for there appears to be a lack of wholesome boards at that particular point. They don't squeak there. It's more of a groan, and a slight give that supplies just enough impetus not to linger.

I guess I just want to point out that I didn't simply plonk the thing down in direct view of the screen without trying all other options first. That I did in fact search for a suitably stable support in all corners (or all corners that didn't show an unnatural pliancy of support) of the room, before finally coming to the realisation that, for a short time at least, the Gods of Getting In Shape were smiling down upon me and my efforts to both pedal my pounds away and watch 'Grey's Anatomy'.

I probably need to replenish that cake altar again.