Harmony Of The Ellipses

"Nic is grateful to the gods/builders/tectonic plates that conspired to make the only area in her place with truly flat floorboards be right in front of her telly.

Because that's the only spot her elliptical cross trainer works properly!

Mwah hah hah hah haaaah!"

I am also grateful that my behemoth of an exercise machine has little wheels built in to the bottom of the front stability bar to enable me to tip it forward and roll it from where it's stored in my bedroom through to that hallowed spot in the living room, or the age-old, cheap and crappy carpets that cover the less-than-flat floor would be in an even worse state of repair. 

Poor flat. The owners really don't care that much about how it looks, as long as what's there lasts a long time, so let's try to ignore the blue brillo-padesque plastic/wire monstrosity that carpets, for want of a better description, the stairs and hall; you don't want to catch your calves going downstairs (or knees, falling upstairs :: cough ::) on that travesty of a floor fabric, because the resulting welts and grazes sting like a mofo.

But I digress.

Yes indeed, that sweet spot where all four corners of my trainer rest just so. Where balance is premium, and no corner has to bear even the tiniest lurch every time the wheel is turned. For you see, a lurch brings with it a tiny hint of a grinding noise. A suspicion of mechanical disapproval. A suggestion that should any horizontal inadequacy continue, Terrible Things Might Happen. 

So, not just to the left, where the floorboard squeaks pitifully when sensing any sort of imbalance. Not just to the right, where there's an inexplicable bump in the flooring. (I've never found enough courage to actually find out what it is; I just avoid it and hope it isn't/wasn't anything that might ooze in the future...) Not set up running parallel to the sofa and sideways to the teevee for there appears to be a lack of wholesome boards at that particular point. They don't squeak there. It's more of a groan, and a slight give that supplies just enough impetus not to linger.

I guess I just want to point out that I didn't simply plonk the thing down in direct view of the screen without trying all other options first. That I did in fact search for a suitably stable support in all corners (or all corners that didn't show an unnatural pliancy of support) of the room, before finally coming to the realisation that, for a short time at least, the Gods of Getting In Shape were smiling down upon me and my efforts to both pedal my pounds away and watch 'Grey's Anatomy'.

I probably need to replenish that cake altar again.