Snake-Oil Salesmen

"Nic was reading an article about an amazing woman who lost 172 lbs and was going to be featured in a fitness magazine, but after being given a true 'after' photo of her wearing a bikini (losing oodles of weight means that there are things that will never look 'normal' without the help of plastic surgery) she was asked for a different photo with clothes that covered her completely... O_o  And then there was the comments section.

Comments. I should learn never to read the comments on articles like this..."

(Actually, I should never read the comments on any article, anywhere. Unless it's on the Oatmeal, or on ridiculous items from Amazon.com.)

But you know? I think I'm in the wrong job. I should be working for some aspect of the diet industry, because it appears there's a LOT of money to be made out of criticising, cajoling, counterfeit caring, cautioning, comforting, corrupting, and 'curing', and that's just the Cs.  

You're too fat. Try this diet aid. C'mon, you're obviously just not trying - you're still too fat. Here, this diet aid is better. Please, your fatness is offending everyone because they don't want to be reminded that they're not living up to their own warped ideals of perfection. Try this NEW and IMPROVED diet aid. No THIS one, because that one is so last year, darling. STOP - they are all wrong - it's THIS ONE that will solve all your problems. And only ten ninety-nine per fortnightly serving of self-hate conditioning. Twenty-nine ninety-nine for this DVD explaining the ninety-seven steps you can take to be just like them. Fifty-six ninety-nine for twelve monthly magazines brain-washing you into buying more diet aids and more DVDs outlining forty ways to stop offending everyone with your existence and they're so expensive because we CARE about YOU and the HORRIBLE THINGS you have obviously done to yourself to be so very far away from what we think should be normal but WE can help YOU, you poor thing. Bless your probably clogged, surely unloved, unconventional heart.

Oh. Well now. You've lost half your body weight? You're exercising, eating well and enjoying a more fruitful life without us prodding you and selling things to you and constantly telling you you're not good enough?

You're DISGUSTING. How could you do that to yourself? Ugh - all that excess skin and health and contentment. Everyone!!! Do you SEE what happens to you when you're selfish and don't care about yourself and are swallowed up by our awful, uncaring society? But WE care. Try this diet aid and you won't ever have to be as embarrassing or as sickening as this creature...

repeat ad nauseam