Saturday, 17 October 2015

Man Does Not Live On Bread Alone

Or at all. I'm forever on the hunt for a decent bread substitute. Yes, yes, I know: don't waste my time trying to find GF substitutes for old favourites, because I'm just setting myself up for a disappointment of epic proportions. Certainly the bread" I found in the bio/gluten-free section at the supermarket only really deserves the irony-quotes, because it certainly doesn't deserve the appellation bread. The bread mixes are okay if hell is freezing over, but I'm slowly, finally reaching that end stage of GF grief: acceptance that I'm never again going to enjoy another slice of thick, white, doughy bread that smells like childhood, and tastes of comfort. Preferably slathered in Lurpak by my Gran thirty years ago when all this was much simpler and my stomach upsets were treated with Milk of Magnesia and a lie down.

I did try my hand at 'dinner rolls', but they turned out so much more like dense cornmeal scones, that I'm not going to give you the recipe I used, out of respect to the author of said poor recipe that I no doubt mangled horribly. If I finally get the timing/mixing/petition the right baking gods and they finish up even a tiny semblance of the pictures on the recipe, then believe-you-me, that'll be written up faster than you can say “she really needs to invest in at least one more un-chipped plate if she's going to keep doing these weird recipe posts".

I've been playing with the sweet breads, but have gone wrong as many times as right. Partially, I'm sure, because I haven't yet accepted that they're not bread, they're really cake. IT'S ALL LIES! SWEET, CAKEY LIES!!

A wrong effort was a rustic-type carrot, banana and walnut bread that ended up the weirdest of textures. All entirely my fault, I'm sure. I still can't quite describe it. It was tasty enough, because you should know me by now, if I didn't throw out the monstrously bad Travesty To Cake-Dom, then something a little chewy. glutinous, compacted, just as weird as that walnut carrot thing was stands a very good chance of being finished off within a fortnight. My standards remain rather low in regards to things that don't make me ill. I can eat it without doubling up in toxic agony? Then it's fine by me. It tastes of rubber? Meh, worse things happen at sea.

Things have gone well, though, like banana bread, and zucchini bread. Okay, peanut butter banana  bread - you NEED to make this. It's one of my favourite things I've made to date. And now I'm looking for it online, I can't find it any more. I think it was on asweetsimplelife.com but the site has been down for a few weeks now. If it's not up soon, then I'm posting this recipe as is, because it is pretty wonderful.  The photo isn't pretty wonderful, but it shows the first one I made and I was so pleased it came out looking bread-like that once it had cooled I took a quick pic to show my sis, before I finished carving it up, scarfing down a slice or two in culinary ecstasy, and storing the rest in the freezer. So good. SO GOOD!  But you'll just have to take my word for it until I either find the recipe online, or truly suffer for my art and work up a post with another loaf. The things I do for you.



The zucchini bread (I'd call it courgette bread, but although I never usually use the Americanism/Italianism normally, it feels right when it's a bread, somehow. Yeah, okay. Cake.) was something unexpected. Of course, I didn't just make any old zucchini bread, I made Double Chocolate Zucchini Bread. :: cough double chocolate courgette cake cough ::



Tasty, tasty bread/cake. Yes, I may have used fifty per cent white choc chips in with the dark. Because I could. 

But then I came across this: Savo(u)ry Gluten Free Zucchini Bread from Gluten Free on a Shoestring. It is a thing of wonder, delight, and if I can't have wheat bread ever again, this'll help ease the pain!

You need:

280 grams basic gluten-free flour
3/4 teaspoon xanthan gum
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt (kosher or otherwise)
75 grams (80mls) vegetable oil
2 eggs at room temperature, beaten
75 grams (70 mls) plain whole milk yogurt
170 grams grated zucchini (courgette)
75 grams Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese, finely grated
60 grams sharp white cheddar cheese, grated (I left a few small chunks in the mix, not for aesthetic reasons, just because I couldn't grate it all without adding a little human flesh to the batter.)

I don't have a blow-by-blow photo-story for you, so here's a quick run-down of the procedure:

Dry stuff in a bowl and mixed together, wet stuff in another bowl and combined 'very well'. You then have to add half the dry stuff in with the wet stuff, followed by the grated courgette and the cheeses, and mix all that up together, and once that's all nicely combined, you mix in the rest of the dry ingredients. You then scrape the (thick) mixture into a prepared pan (I use a basic bread/cake tin), place it in the centre of the preheated oven (oh, yes, you need to preheat your oven to 175C) and bake it until it's lightly golden brown on top, and a toothpick has been prodded and come out clean. Around 35 to 40 minutes.

I took heed of the warning not to slice it until it was cool. I learn. Slowly. But I learn!








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